The People of Walmart Print
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Written by Cosmic   
Wednesday, 07 October 2009 14:14

The People of

Those shoes are not blue nor are they suede.

How am I supposed to slap a ho without an essential part of my balanced breakfast?

Nothing says sanitary like a parrot in the produce section…

“What are you wearing sexy?” -Cowboy boots. “Ya, that’s hot.” – Pink velour pants.
“Ya I like that.” – a little green baby girl hoodie. “Oh damn, that sounds sexy.”
– and I kinda look like Gallagher. “Oh ya…wait…what?”

Let’s run through my rock star list….

  • Mullet? – check;
  • big sunglasses? – check;
  • heart shaped tattoo?
  • u know I love my mom;
  • Cut jean shorts? – are there any other type of shorts?;
  • wife beater tied at the midriff – check;

.. He is an official ROCK STAR!


I think I just sharted…


Is that Rainbow Brite all grown up??

Is that a soccer ball? A map of the solar system? The structure of a sub-atomic particle?

I have absolutely no idea what to say…

Is that a gangster leotard?

Everyone loves the man in the yellow go-go boots!

Nice purse!

Do you see the flame shoes buddy? That means I will not think twice about karate chopping you Into the middle of next wee

AHH! I love the frozen food section… it tingles

Umm… excuse me, sir…

At least the purse matches, right?


No, honey, it’s an ancient Egyptian symbol of prosperity, I swear!

I was wondering why you suddenly smelled better.

Every man has an NFL jersey AND pink short-shorts in their wardrobe, right?

I have the same outfit, only in red.

Just in case you had the urge…

Now all we need is Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem for a reunion tour.

Yes, you are seeing that correctly. Old man + large, supple breast implants.




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Last Updated on Wednesday, 07 October 2009 14:14